What is Anxiety?
There are only so many topics to speak
about when it comes to behavioral patterns in humans including a few biggies
that people love to come back to. Procrastination is one of them. There are so
many tools, blogs, vlogs, books, shows and programs to help you stop
procrastinating and start getting your work done; but rarely do we ever address
the fear and anxiety that simmers underneath. Procrastination that is born from
anxiety is a different kind of procrastination then just being to ‘lazy,’ or
wanting to do something else rather then get to work. Anxiety is also very
different from healthy fear, and very different from that intuitive feeling of
something isn’t right here. Anxiety is one of the most pervasively felt
emotions and yet it is also the emotion that we most often deny and avoid. For
those of us who suffer from an anxiety disorder, or have had an acute case of
anxiety at some point in out lives anxiety can no longer be pushed under the
rug.
Anxiety is
almost like the fear experience got stuck in the on position in the brain and
NEVER GOES AWAY. Sure it can sometimes be manageable, you have good days but
sometimes it is awful. Anxiety when intensified can lead to debilitating panic
attacks. On the less severe side it can create a few outcomes. The first is
creating a need for ‘busy making,’ this is when we are driven to continually
fill our time with tasks to accomplish but we never actually seem to make headway
in creating true change. The second is complete avoidance and paralysis of
movement in life when the anxiety gets really bad. The third is isolation.
Normally we swing back and forth between over activity and under activity when
it comes to anxiety. This is in no way a complete list of how anxiety can
manifest in behavior.
Anxiety, Depression, OCD and A Shrinking World of Experience
We
take part in these behaviors for different reasons. Busy making is safe; it
keeps our minds busy and away from the discomfort of our anxiety and especially
away from doing things that will create change. Change is extremely scary for
anyone but with those who experience anxiety it is often terror inducing.
Anxiety increases as you move into unknown territory and so busy making not
only lets you ignore the sensations for a while but it also allows you to avoid
escalation by stepping out of the safe zone. Complete avoidance and paralysis
is when we can’t take it and so check out. This can be done in many ways,
reading, TV, sleeping, videogames, drinking and other intoxicants. I used to
vent my own anxiety doing many of these things including having a small
addiction to Ebay. We isolate mostly because the idea of going out into public
makes our anxiety huff and so we cancel plans, stay in, stay safe and don’t let
others know why. We feel more and more alone as our isolating drives people to
frustration; anger and eventually they fall away. The name of the game for
anxiety is avoidance and control. Avoidance unfortunately doesn’t work in the
long run, take it from me. Our worlds become smaller and smaller and smaller as
we avoid, then trying to step outside of our shrinking worlds again creates
more anxiety. This eventually leads to depression, a side affect of anxiety
disorders that is deeply tied to the experience.
We
see other people, friends, and people in movies who are living their lives
seemingly fearless or completely free of the continually shrinking isolation we
find ourselves in, and we yearn for it! We yearn for the types of relationships
that involve true vulnerability but in our anxiety we can’t be vulnerable
because we already feel like an open wound. It is also a bit overwhelming to
have to fulfill the needs of another while in this state. We desire so much to
live the lives we dream of; but we have a hard time even admitting what we want
because then we feel like we will need to create it which is out of the
question. Often time’s pervasive anxiety and depression will be accompanied by
varying levels of OCD. We develop OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in a bid
to finally control what little world we have left to us. We do this in hopes
that if we can control things, then how we feel will finally be over. All in
all this paints a very bleak picture. For some anxiety is a part of their life
experience from childhood, for others it begins at some point in their lives.
There is an increasing trend of anxiety for those in their early to mid 20’s. You
are not alone.
The Slow Climb Out, Reclaiming Your Life Experience
Learning how to
slowly and safely increase your scope of experience will be a huge part in
learning to overcome anxiety. It will never really be comfortable but feeling
the anxiety and doing it anyway, to slightly change that famous catch phrase,
will be the only way to take back your life. Finding a supportive group of
people that is small that you can meet for at least twice a month, if not once
a week in the beginning will be the greatest gift you can give yourself. In
this group you can help each other to continually own and speak your desires
and encourage and motivate each other to keep going. Finding a therapist or
therapeutic service that can help you clear out the negative belief systems
that feed into and contribute to your anxiety will also be extremely time
saving and helpful. The more you can do to stack the odds in your favor the
more success you are likely to have. Perseverance, courage and forgiveness
along with mourning will all be required to finally move forward. Meditation
practices and awareness exercises will also be helpful along with spending time
in nature. All of these tools have an innate ability to drastically lessen
anxiety when we are connected to something greater then ourselves and fully in
the moment. That is why horses have such an amazing affect on anxiety
disorders. They completely engage us in the moment. With each thing you take
back, with each new thing you create you will feel better and better. The
anxiety will not look so big and the more you challenge it the more you will be
able to do.
Anxiety is a
very deeply entrenched neural pathway that unfortunately has told us that 1. We
will always feel this way and 2. That while we feel this way we will always be
stuck. Neural pathways can be changed and we are only ever stuck when we make
the choice to say no instead of yes. (As a side I mean to say yes to healthy
situations, sometimes saying no is absolutely necessary to keep us safe.) The
more you practice states free of anxiety the less entrenched the anxiety will
be. For a lot of us we need to hit absolute rock bottom before we can find the
courage to start climbing free of the suffocation we experience every day. For
those who are just in the beginning stages of increasing anxiety, stop letting
your world shrink now. The more you succumb the longer the climb out. Take it
from me it can be done. The above tools all helped to save my life; you just
have to find your own formula of success.
Check out http://www.livingclarity.ca to find
services such as Psychotherapy Equine Facilitated Therapy and Equine Workshops
for more information and tools to help you overcome your own anxiety.
Please share your own experiences or
questions below
Cheers
Charlotte Brammer
Psychotherapist . Hypnotherapist
Equine Assisted Therapist . Reiki Master
Living Clarity
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