Frustrations throughout the day
Do you ever find yourself frustrated for long periods of time? Where
you find yourself being irritable with loved ones, or when things are taking to
long? Where you feel a sense of time slipping by and as it progresses you get
more and more frustrated and angry? Frustration can be a sign of violating your
own needs and boundaries. Of course we have all felt frustration when we are
trying to do a particular task and it refuses to co-operate. Frustration over
doing something that doesn’t work lets us know we need to try it a different
way or come from a different angle. This isn’t the same as frustration over
agreeing to do something when we really need or want to do something else, or when
we procrastinate ourselves. It is when we go against our sense of what is right
for ourselves and cater to others, or cater to our idea’s of sensible rather
then our dreams and passion that we feel that very real and pervasive sense of
anger. When we are able to be honest with ourselves and begin to say yes to our
needs and desires then we will be free to relax and enjoy the rest of our
moments. Our frustration in a way becomes our guide to let us know we aren’t
being honest with ourselves. This experience of frustration is emotional
information.
What
is Emotional Intelligence?
This utilizing emotional information to understand our internal and
external moment is what is known as emotional intelligence. When healthy each
emotion tells us something about ourselves, and how we are experiencing the
current situation, or life circumstances. They let us know when we are moving
in the right direction, or when we have fallen onto a tangential path. They let
us know if we are healthy or unhealthy. They tell us when we are comfortable
with things or uncomfortable. They even alert us to danger and tell us to make
a hasty escape.
Each emotion has
its own meaning, has its own set of information that we can use to create
decisions and choices to either create beneficial changes and outcomes, or
negative ones. Sadness is often how we deal with loss, and tells us when
something was important to us. It tells us that we need to allow the energy to
flow to let go of something. Anger lets us know in no uncertain terms that a
boundary has been crossed and we are not ok with it. Depression tells us that
we have fallen off our paths and have been doing things that offer no
fulfillment and purpose to us. Happiness tells us that we are experiencing a
moment that stands out, a moment that is beautiful. Of course this is very
simplified and each emotion then requires us to do some soul searching.
Why Emotional Information Is Important
The reason emotional information is important is because it alerts
us to something that we need to address or experience. If we are angry we need
to start asking what boundary has been crossed and what do we need to do to
reinstate it and protect ourselves. If we are depressed we need to evaluate our
decisions and current endeavors to find out which one no longer works. Then we
can start to search for what will allow us to be fulfilled and live with
purpose. Understanding and embracing our emotional intelligence gives us such a
huge advantage in life. It tells us everything we need to know. It can help
guide us to create better situations and can alert us to where the lesson lays
in our mistakes and failures. The other benefit to being connected to our
emotional intelligence is that we don’t fight against our emotions. We learn to
be at peace with them, even the uncomfortable ones. We recognize that they
aren’t meant to be fixed; they ebb and flow and dissipate and enrich our
experiences. When we no longer grasp them and or try to hold them, or force
them down we free ourselves from so much encumbrance and exhaustion.
When
You Disconnection From Emotional Information
When you disconnect from your emotional intelligence it creates a
disharmony internally. The body begins to store all the emotional information
you no longer process leading to aches, pains and disease. The emotions go from
flowing and healthy to pent up and toxic. Instead of just anger we feel blackout
rage. Instead of depression we feel suicidal. Instead of happiness we feel
hollow or at the very other end of the scale we feel numb. When we feel nothing
at all we are no longer experiencing life, we are no longer experiencing much
of anything. When emotions become toxic they take over our experience. A
healthy emotion is just a small part of our experience. We are the witness in
the same way as we are aware of our thoughts. When an emotion is toxic we
become lost in the experience and power of the toxic emotion as it finally is
felt and released. Most of the time when we experience these breaks of control
we quickly try to grab the emotion and stuff it back down. Then we go on damage
control and hope no one was caught in the cross fire.
The other downside
to disconnecting from your emotional intelligence is loosing your connection to
your internal compass. When this happens and things spiral and failures mount
you loose trust in yourself. People begin to cross boundaries because you don’t
even know where they are. You are doing things that you don’t want to do
because you don’t even know what you want to do. Lack of emotional information
leads to loss of identity and purpose.
How Do You Re-claim Your Emotional Intelligence and Foster
Self Trust?
In order to re-claim your emotional
intelligence and gain trust in yourself again, you must first create a safe
space. You must learn what each emotion means, and
what questions they bring up that you must ask yourself. Finally they require
you to be honest with yourself and create actions from the information.
If you haven’t disconnected from your emotional information, and have no toxic
emotional buildup, it is not part of our culture to explore and understand
emotions. This leads to people having all the emotions that are normal but
absolutely no understanding as to what they mean or why they are happening.
This is deeply confusing.
If you have
disconnected from your emotions then you must create a safe space to
begin to feel and release pent up toxic emotion. You may need to mourn, yell,
rage, cry, laugh and move your body to let it out. This is best done with
support from either professionals or friends. Taken slow and easy this gradual
release will allow you to begin to experience emotion in a healthy way once
again. Once the toxic build up is finally released you will experience
lightness, a gaiety and an energy boost. Then you must begin the journey of
learning what the healthy emotions feel like, what they mean and the actions
they may require.
Why Horses Are So Good At Helping Teach Emotional
Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is such an important
piece of our life experience, and can enrich that life experience
exponentially. There are many workshops, books and courses catered to help you
explore your own emotional information to improve your emotional IQ. I
personally find that Equine Facilitated Therapy is extraordinarily powerful at
helping us to learn emotional intelligence. Horses operate through
understanding and communicating through emotional and physical energy patterns.
This is their main language! They can tell exactly what we are feeling, and
exactly what we are holding onto and avoiding. They then through behaviors and
physical body language mirror and communicate this back to us. They then offer
us unconditional support as we play, release and try to understand the
information they give us. They teach us different tools and ways of being with
our emotions and ourselves. They allow us to practice these emotions in a safe
and healthy way. They allow us to practice setting boundaries, and laughing and
being vulnerable. They do all of this with compassion and humility.
If you need a
little bit of help understanding your own internal emotional compass and have
felt drawn to horses then the Emotional Intelligence Equine Workshop is for
you. To find out more CLICK HERE
To internal peace and contentment
Charlotte Brammer
Living Clarity
Creating Chemistry With Life
